This little light of mine...

I realize that it has been 3 months since I last blogged, but considering that many of you reading this have yourselves been in this very same situation, I will not judge myself or go on and on about why it has been so long. You all KNOW why it has been so long! I really want to just honor my precious Ella Kay who turned one this month.

It's funny how I sit here and try to organize my thoughts about this sweet girl and what all I want to tell you about her, and yet all I can do is just sit here and smile. She has that effect on people. They just smile around her.

She has this way of bringing peace and joy and laughter to every situation. I love that about her and I know this is a God-given ability that He will use in a mighty way in her future. And it is, therefore, no coincidence that in Greek her name means "torch, bright light". She is most certainly our little bright light.

I was uncertain when I found out I was pregnant again how I would cope having two so young together (Adri was just 6 months old) but I always had this indescribable joy inside of me concerning this new little life.

This joy just grew and grew with each passing month and the first moment I held her in my arms that joy bubbled out of me in uncontrollable laughter. I remember with Adri that moment was so surreal for me that I felt like I was watching a hallmark movie or something, and that it really wasn't me, my baby or my life. And maybe the second time around is more "real" because you know what to expect and you can really just look forward to that moment instead of wonder what it feels like. But this time I was so VERY aware of the moment...each second of it. And the minute they put Ella in my arms I knew I was holding my baby, my daughter, my joy.

And no matter how exhausting the next hour, day, month or year became I could not stop smiling when I was with her.

When ella was growing inside of me I would often wonder how she would fit into the puzzle that was our life, and how she would fit into Adri's life. Adri had SO much energy, needed so much affection and attention and being the only girl in my family...she got it! And at the beginning there were definitely periods of time where that was a challenge! But as God knows best, he knew this bubbly, cheeky, smiley, happy baby would be the perfect fit.

He made Ella even faster than Adri (which I truly thought was impossible) so that Adri would always have someone to chase and be chased by. Ella is already so silly, and she can entertain Adri better than anyone or anything I know.

He gave Adri a built-in playmate, wrestling partner, snuggling buddy, and an experimental guinea pig :).

They fight like cats and dogs at times (as most sisters do, I'm sure) but they already have a bond between them that is indescribable. Adri has blossomed into such a giving, loving, mothering little girl and it blesses my heart to know they will spend SO many years of their lives taking care of one another, teaching one another, growing one another and completing one another as only sisters can.

Ella has brought new wonder, curiosity, and love to Adri's little life and I feel overwhelmed that I get to be a witness to that every day.

Ella, you have made me into a more patient, giving, and joy-filled mother. With one smile from you the worries and cares of my life melt away.

You must have spent many days laughing with the angels because when I hear your little giggles I feel as though I am hearing God's heart.

I pray that the gift you have to bring an anointing of joy and peace to the darkest places of my life will be used to bring God to the darkest places on this earth. I pray that he covers you on every side and that He makes your light shine so bright for others that you would be a beacon of hope to those who need it most. Thank you Lord for this most precious, beautiful, amazing little one you have given us. Bless her every year with more of your presence, more of your grace, love, and wisdom. I love you my little Ella Bell! Happy 1st Birthday